“I feel like anyone who prays and asks for something in exchange is a piece of s*^t.” Those were the words one of my colleagues at work uttered. I was actually shocked, because he is the first person I’ve heard say how I feel.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve always been the kind of person who doesn’t do something for someone with the expectation of getting something in return. The exception, of course, is my job. Then again, that’s different, because an agreement was reached between parties prior to accepting the job.
I’ve always tried to instill in my children not to expect anything in return when doing a favor. In other words, be selfless. You’ll be far less disappointed with others that way. “Yeah, but dad, I let him use my game. It’s not fair he doesn’t let me use his.” Never do something for someone expecting they’ll do something for you later.
Not too long ago, I received a phone call from someone apologizing for not being able to hire me for a job I threw my name in the hat for. Apparently, he felt some sort of obligation to hire me, because I had helped him out in the past and now feels a bit guilty he didn’t hire me for some past job.
“Brutha, I’m not cut from that cloth. I don’t do things for people expecting they’ll somehow pay me back. If it happens, it happens. If not, no big deal,” I told him.
Relationships are an area I truly do not understand. Somehow there are expectations of one another when in a relationship.” I do everything for you, but you don’t do anything for me,” is a common one I’ve heard. I can honestly say when I’ve asked my partner if she wanted to do something or go somewhere and she said “No,” it genuinely didn’t bother me. If it’s something I would really like to do, I just go do it anyway. Never have I thrown in her face, “I do things for you, so why won’t you do something for me?”
Back to what spawned all this. I truly believe if you’re going to pray to God, you should do so selflessly. Don’t try to be a hustler or politician and broker a deal with God. Pray because you want to and feel it’s the right thing to do, not because you’re trying to gain something in return.
You’ll be surprised how much better you’ll feel about doing things when you don’t expect anything in return.
